You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
