At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
