tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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