it wasn't lemon gatorade
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
