she woke up with a sticky ear
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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