Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize