i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
