how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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