no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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