Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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