Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
ok first of all what the fuck
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
