I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
