Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i was born a porn star she said
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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