In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize