so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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