It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
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