that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
