Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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