I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize