does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
