Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
