I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
