I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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