don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
