I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
