Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
