i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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