I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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