so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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