Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
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