my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Just cropdusted the office
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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