I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
