i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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