I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
