1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Randomize
