My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
