at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
In America we eat man semen.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
