If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
