Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
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