I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
You need Xanax blowdarts
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
