he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
