Having a random hookup so left but love u
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
This is the high leading the old right now
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
