My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
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