What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
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