That's when you crack a 10am beer
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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