Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
