In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
