Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize