i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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