he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
This toilet bowl is my home.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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