In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize