on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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