real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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