i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
