Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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