ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
